It's darts night!

La la la. This is Lament, my little collection of my more "classic" fanfiction. There's no running over Lol with a truck themes, no Cockney- fication, no incessantly lurking narrator. So what is there? Hmmm... well, lots and lots of terrible Robert/Simon smut and angst. Ah, smut and angst, angst and smut. My two dear friends. Some day, I promise you, some day I will go through these and de-angstify them. Some day. Anyway, I apologize for the over-abundance of commas and lack of coherency in these, but half were written solely on the fact I wanted to use certain words, phrases, or themes in a piece of writing. You'll see what I mean.

Stories

Perfect Destruction- Ho ho, this is slash for the thinking man. An odd little late night narrative to start off the set, this one devoid of any specific time period. Me giving Robert a lot more credit than he probably deserves. Rated R because of, y'know, the whole situation. Hehe. "Mature Themes".
Happy Birthday- One of the worst characterisations of the two I have ever come up with, this is an old old Robert-turns-30-damn-he's-bitchy-oh-look- Simon-fancies-him-how-bloody-original fic. Synopsis? Robert's unhappy! Shocking! Rated PG(!) for a kiss! Be still, thy quivering loins.
Twin Figures- A legend in its own time, I consider this the predecessor of all that is super-angst (see: "Burn".) Set during the Prayer Tour, when they were coming over on that nice big boat. NC-17 cause they get it onnnnnn. Also for a bit of 'graphic sickness'. (Actually, if you like this story and find the whole sick thing pretty amusing, you might wanna consider joining us at Fight This Sickness, a silly little club I started for all you twisted Cure fans out there. Just ask me for an invite and let the sausages of sin rollll.)
Creatures in the Rain- The anti-BURN, this is the story that started the whole, "AH!! Look! I said 'sleeves'! God damn I'm funny." mindset that permeates this section of the site. As for the actual plot, it's a late 17 Seconds-era Simon and Robert running around in the rain. Because this is my happy story, and 17 Seconds makes me happy, you fools. PG-13 for those mega-exciting kiss scenes again. Have I no shame?!
Staring at the Sky- Fffffffff. This story... well, have a synopsis: Simon and Robert are outside. Simon looks at Robert. Robert doesn't look at Simon. Angst. You decide for yourself. Set during the recording of Disintegration, mainly as an excuse for not writing dialogue. R just... because. I'm the one who's rating these at any rate, so it's R if I say it's R. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
The Final Sound- Another one of them stories based upon one word I find terribly amusing, this one being "flopping". Bonus points if you catch it. Anyway, to be a REAL Cure slasher, you simply MUST have a story pertaining to Simon leaving the band during the Fourteen Explicit Moments Tour (Pornography-era for you rookies, ;)). Here's mine, Robert-narrated. Written a mere three hours after having my wisdom teeth extracted, so please excuse the blood thing. I was having *moments*. R for violence and flopping, lolol.
3- La la. Here we have the latest venture in my quest of extreme oddity, the icky green couch fuck. Set Bloodflowers era cause I'm all cool and modern, but if you imagine a Wish-y Robert, I find it enhances the attractiveness of the story all the more. NC-17 for the first couple sentences and a general sense of "what the HELL is Ade on?" As for the inevitable quirky fun bit that somehow works its way into all my writing, the word of the story is 'scalp'.
Doubt- An English teacher's nightmare, I wrote this little contradictory baby in but half an hour. Anyway, as Ade gets less and less creative, her stories get more and more mundane: a companion story to "The Final Sound", this is a Top-era Simon being very contraction-prone and unstable. PG-13 for Simon being incredibly mean and even saying (gasp!) 'fuck'. For fun and games, count the number of times it says "don't". The lovely Spiffy reports 26... how many can YOU find?
Gone- Purple has become my favourite colour, apparently, as this little Simon narration will show. PG-13 for a mean Robert and Simon thinking the word "naked". Lol. So very, very scandalous.

Bathroom Stories!!!

By surprisingly popular demand.

Drowning Wordless- Hmm. For some reason everyone says this story is incredibly sexy. But how, I ask you, can it beat the genius that is Twin Figures? I mean, Simon and Robert shagging in some filthy pub bathroom vs. vomiting mid-sex. I just don't see it. Set during either Mixed Up or early Wish-era, anyway, just for a little variety. My first attempt at really graphic slash. Well, graphic in the one sense... NC-17 for what I just said.
Untitled- Bathrooms, blowjobs, and beards, oh my! Heh. This one's untitled because "The Thump Thump Story!" just sounds silly. I wrote it after seeing this picture, which I found so hilarious that I needed to write a story about it. It's... odd. If nothing else, the dialogue is fun to read aloud. NC-17. Hoo hoo!

17 Seconds- A Series

Well, more of a series in the works, really. In fact, as of now there's only the one story; Simple. And quite the terrible story it is! NC-17, sure, (and rightly so... this one is terribly graphic. For me, anyway) but it's in dire need of companion stories (hint hint to ze lovely Laura, the coseriesist) before it can begin to make a bit of sense. Set... and get ready for this... BEFORE THE CURE EXISTED. WHA-PAH!! Basically, it takes place around 1976 or so, because Laura and I thought the idea of 17 year old Robert and Simon shagging to be incredibly foxy, age of consent be damned.

Uh, that's it for now... hehehe. I have more, but they're all either floating around my head or my house on bits of suspicious looking paper, and until I manage to get some time to myself and type them up... oh, just go to "Do the Hansa". It's a helluva lot more fun, and only one story has angst. Promise.